Conversations With Belly

I watched my nephew, Jonah, take a skiing lesson.  He is three years old.  He held my hand as we walked to the mini-mountain and his ski boots made him robot-like.  So I called him Robot Boy.  He loved it.  He started talking like Wall-E.

When we returned to the house later that day Meesh was sitting by the fireplace.  Jonah ran over to her belly and said "I put hand on belly" the way a robot would.  He touched the belly and said "hi mr. baby I am robot boy...want to go skiing?"

Then Benjamin, my five year old nephew ran over...pushed Jonah out of the way and screeched "i want to touch the belly."  A fight ensued.  Whether over legos or toy trucks, markers or the remote control or yes, a pregnant belly, you can trust brothers to argue.

Meesh And The Doctor

Watching Meesh at the baby doctor is pure comedy.  I assume she handles these visits the way she does her hair appointments or lunches with her girlfriends.  "It's my time and I ain't leaving until I've asked everything I want to ask."

It reminds me of our dogs when we take them for walks.  They pee and pee again and again and again.  By the sixth pee, there is quite literally nothing left.  They pee air.  Can't squeeze any more juice out of a lemon if there ain't no juice left.  But the dogs will be damned if they don't squat over and over.  It's their walk and they'll pee if they want to.  

Meesh asks all the right questions.  Questions that actually pertain to the baby and the birth.  And just when the doctor thinks she can leave to attend to her next patient, Meesh comes up with something.  "Soooo, I'm good on weight gain?"  Dr. says "Perfect."  "Soooo, do I need to keep taking the iron pills?"  Dr. says "Yes."  "Soooo, do you watch Lost?"  "No."  "Are you going to be in the room when I'm in labor?"  "I am your doctor, so Yes."  I could see Meesh asking the doctor on a friend date which would not shock me as my Mom has friend-dated everyone from the UPS man to the 17 year old cashier at J.Crew.

This Is Your Brain, This Is Your Brain On Preg

I worry Meesh might forget my name.  Why not?  She is forgetting everything else. Where her purse is (right next to her) Where her shoes are (on her feet) Where her sunglasses are (atop her head).  The baby in the belly is making the brain in the head a little remedial.  But she's beautiful and it's kind of fun to see her navigate the land of forget.  

Why just the other night after I almost killed my mother-n-law.  Not intentionally.  I swear.  In-laws were in town.  I was driving us to dinner.  Meesh in the front seat.  In-laws in the backseat.  I started to drive however mum-n-law was not in the car yet.  Well, not true.  One of her legs was in the car.  And an arm I believe.  Had I pulled out faster I may not be writing this very post.

All safe and sound, no blood on my hands...we drove to dinner.  A Greek restaraunt.  Father-n-law orders Musaka.  Meesh says "That's the Dad in The Lion King."  Nope, that would be Mufasa.

We are sitting outside.  We order an appetizer of Flaming Cheese (cheese they light on fire to make it, well, flame).  A moment later we can see, through the window, that a waiter is lighting up some cheese for a couple at a table.  Mom-n-law says "Oh, so that's the cheese that we ordered?"  Meesh says "Yes, but that's not our order."  Really Meesh?  What gave it away?  Perhaps the waiter serving the cheese to other customers inside at a table very far away from ours.  I said those exact things and Meesh laughed.  A hearty, full-bodied, pregnant laugh.  I love that laugh.  I totally want to marry that laugh.

This was our seventh meal with in-laws in three days.  Meesh must have asked "Did you guys see Frost/Nixon" 15 times.  She would then follow up with "I fell asleep but what I saw was great."  Sidenote, Meesh is falling asleep during most things and when she wakes up she does so kind of like my father...with an opinion.  Example:  She must have missed half of "Changling" but had a very strong point of view on it.  But you didn't see it, hon.  It's like eating a meal but skipping dessert and telling me the key lime pie was so-so.