I almost bitch slapped a jealous pregnant woman at Gap Maternity today. I walked up through the baby clothes, past the teddy bears and straight on in to the pregnancy section. There was Meesh all glowing and shit. Holding a little black dress...err...holding a BIG black dress up to her body (and by Big I mean Maternity BIG, not *Ruby BIG) when out the corner of my eye - yeah, I said "OUT the corner" - I am intentionally leaving words out so as to sound more rougher and junk. So, I 0ut my eye's corner I see this couple. She's pregnant. He looks suicidal. The story I built for them was this: He hates her but married her because it was easier than breaking up with her and now she is having his child and he is counting down the days until he AXES her for divorce. That said, the bitch was looking Meesh up and down giving her the evil eye and shit. If only Meesh had on her Kabballah string...none of that would have happened. Or like Wonder Woman's wrist cuffs, Meesh could have deflected the evil eye and then Rammmmmmed (sound effect of Wonder Woman jump) out of Gap and into the Grove fountain.
Why was this preg bitch hating on Meesh? Not sure. But I will throw this question out there? What happens to a bitchy girl when she gets pregnant? She becomes a bitchy pregnant girl. The more preg people I meet the more I am understanding that growing a baby inside of you does not necessarily make you kinder or more loving...more compassionate or funnier...it kind of just makes you a bigger version of who you already is! Yup, I said IS.
*Ruby is that show airing on Style Network about the 700 pound woman who goes on a quest to become 150 pounds. Yeah, I programmed my Tivo.
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The fact that you just referenced Ruby made me laugh so hard i had to change my Monday's to my Tuesday's....
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